Deserving of Protection

Dear Readers: Please be aware that this post discusses the issue of domestic/partner violence and how it relates to both women and men. While I try to only stick to the facts in my writing, there are 3 video clips of actors/actresses in potentially harmful situations. If you suffer from visual triggers, please watch/read cautiously.


Domestic violence. It’s a crime than has affected many of us,

with the CDC reporting that approximately 12 million people are victims of intimate partner violence each year. Victims not only have to deal with physical scars, but with mental and emotional damages as well. Of those who reported it, 63% of women and 16% of men were found to have legitimate PTSD symptoms, and the numbers went up to 81% and 35% respectively when asked about whether the abuse had ANY impact on their lives. (Please note that I believe the male numbers are drastically under reported.) Clearly, domestic violence is not just something we can pretend away or claim ignorance of. ..especially when the violence presents itself in public.  Let’s see what happens when a couple’s “argument” makes its appearance in a packed restaurant with other patrons.

The three following clips are from ABC News, specifically the series “What Would You Do?” It is a hidden camera program that touches on people’s natural reactions to difficult or controversial topics, and interviews them afterwards about why they acted as they did. I will likely use more episodes in future posts, but for now let us continue on with this topic. Please click within the parentheses to see the videos.

(Help a battered woman? Part 1)

As you can see, it did not take long at all for bystanders to start helping; in one scenario, the boyfriend didn’t even have time to show up before the other diners noticed something was wrong. Though various methods of assistance were given (shouting, asking the “boyfriend” to leave, alerting mangers to the problem), the important thing to remember is that not a single scenario went by without someone helping the victim. This is exactly what should happen, and I applaud all the people who helped in this situation.  But what would onlookers do if the battered woman was not so conservatively dressed?

(Help a battered woman? Part 2)

Surprising, isn’t it? Or perhaps not…After all, there are vast segments of the American population who view prostitutes as the lowest of the low, women that have no dignity or moral compass. Little thought is given as to why they are prostitutes in the first place, or if they are being forced into the “occupation” by other, less scrupulous individuals.** I found it interesting that these women received little to no help, all because of how they were dressed. At no time were their conversations indicative of being anything more than a girlfriend to the “abuser”.  Apparently, if you show any cleavage or leg, you deserve whatever abuse you get…

(Help a battered man?)

This last video was the worst in regard to stereotypes. The fact that a police officer said that he would have stepped in if the man had been hitting the woman just lends credence to the double standard that some would say is nonexistent. The one passerby who said “You go, girl” is precisely NOT what we need. Anyone who feels that abusing another person is a form of empowerment truly needs to reconsider their beliefs. What was perhaps most telling was the fact that (when interviewed) the women laughed and stated that they didn’t intervene because they “thought she’d caught him cheating”.  Imagine if a man was slapping and throwing things at his girlfriend in public, just as the “girlfriend”/actress did…would it be considered acceptable for bystanders to walk by if it sounded like he was only doing it because he’d caught her cheating? Of course not! So, why do the majority of people feel it is fine for women to do it to men? THIS is one of the double standards that need to be eliminated for true equality in our society.

I understand that some of this may have been difficult to watch and/or read about, so thank you for doing so. It is important to note that domestic violence knows no boundaries…it affects people across every line imaginable, be it ethnicity, sexual orientation, income, gender, education levels and culture. No group is immune, and thus all groups should receive aid. If you’d like to know more, please consider visiting these sites:

As always, I welcome anyone’s comments and opinions, so long as they are kept polite and respectful. Have a lovely week, and hopefully I’ll see you back here next Monday!

**Obviously I’m not talking about the individual contractors who work at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. These women are legitimate sex workers, with rules, protocols, and their own ability to say what they will or will not be willing to do. This is the only form of prostitution I support…one where the sex worker (female or male) has full control over their actions and the clients they take.


12 thoughts on “Deserving of Protection

  1. i was glad to see/ well read you bringing attention to this.Topic I was also glad to see you mention battered men as well, you are part of a minority of women that mention this. I actually heard certain women glad that men were victims of abuse, it was somethign to the effect of pay back. Great post as always. I look forward to the next one

  2. Of course, MrMary…men may not be victims of DV as much, but it definitely still happens. Perhaps even more, since I’m sure it is a vastly unreported crime. The numbers that I use above are just what is *known*, not what victims actually go through.

    As for women being pleased about men being abused? I’d have have choice words for them. Namely, the types of words I don’t allow on this blog.

  3. Thanks.

    I hope that staff meeting wasn’t too bad and that your week is going well?

    Are you dissecting and breaking down Iron John? I have not forgotten your questions I plan on answering them once i get a little more time. I want my words and references to be a little more precise then they had in the past

  4. Nah, the meetings weren’t too bad…3 hours altogether, so pretty short considering all that we had to go over.

    I’m actually still waiting for my Iron John book to come in @ Barnes & Nobles. Funny thing, it came in and they accidentally put it out, and someone bought it! So now I’m waiting for another copy. Hopefully that someone is getting good use out of “my” book, lol. 🙂

  5. @rmaxgenactivePUA

    I had to moderate your comment due to the fact that it violated my policy. While it may not have been your intent, it contained some very untrue and/or harmful ideas towards female victims of rape and domestic violence.

    As for your statement that I conveniently disregarded male victims of suicide and rape, I wish to point out that this post did not touch on these topics at all…for either sex. In the future, I will bring these decidedly difficult topics to the forefront with all the dignity and compassion they deserve. Today was not that day, but I have not forgotten male victims anymore than I’ve forgotten female or trans victims.

    I ask that you please be mindful of my comments policy, and avoid hurtful statements in the future. Thank you.

  6. Feminists promote the idea of DV being a male on female issue because most people wrongly believe that it is ok for a women to abuse a man – who is supposed to just stand there and take it like a man – while it is a mortal sin for a man to hit a woman even in self defense. And of course they profit handsomely from it with the majority of their funding coming from the taxpayer that allows the feminists to spread their anti-male propaganda far and wide. Properly conducted Studies have always shown that domestic violence is a two way street – 50/50 – between the genders which the feminists willfully and dishonestly ignore because the truth does not fit into their world view – that all men are bad and all woman good.

  7. That’s why I made sure to talk about DV against menfolk. People tend to scoff, or worse, deny that it could ever happen.

    I wanted to show that it not only does happen, but that people don’t care. THIS is what we as a society need to change…

  8. @EK

    Of course! Men can get beaten up just as easily as a woman can…sometimes even more easily, since few onlookers would even think that he needs help. Personally, I believe my “right” to swing my fist ends at the tip of your nose.
    NOBODY should ever feel they can lay hands on anyone else.

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