Responding To Search Terms

Earlier today I was going through the stats of my blog and decided to run a report for the search terms that led people here the past 30 days. A lot of them were fairly typical, but some were just so interesting that I had to show them off. Here’s the best ones;

“Size of Robert Carlyle’s penis”
I’m not sure, but when you find out let me know. That man is sexy!

“Can women enjoy sex”
I’d say the majority do, but I know a small percentage who don’t at all.

“How to have intercourse with my abused boyfriend”
Very carefully and slowly. If your boyfriend was sexually abused, either as a child or raped as an adult, you each have to be honest and open about what you like/can handle/expect. Regardless of whether it was a woman or gay man asking, I’d say communication is absolutely key.

“Can androgynous women give blowjobs”
Um, we still have mouths. Why wouldn’t we be able to? If you’re actually asking if we *would* that’s completely up to the person in question. Myself, I love going down on my FwB…it’s one of my favorite activities. Others may not like it, so it’s a good idea to ask.

“Why doesn’t my girlfriend like anal”
Could be that she thinks it will hurt (it doesn’t if you do it right!) or she thinks it’s derogatory. Maybe she comes from a overly religious household, or she’s embarrassed to ask for it, or she just isn’t into it. A better question is: Why aren’t you asking *her*?

“Women do stupid things”
And so do men, or anyone in-between the sex/gender spectrum. What’s your point?

“Men are justifiably ashamed of having a penis”
No. Or at least if some are they shouldn’t be. Genitals, no matter what shape they take, are wonderful. I love looking at different penises (thank you tumblr!) as they are incredibly sexy and beautiful. Stay away from my blog until you’re adult enough to realize that nobody is “justified” in feeling unnecessary shame towards their body.

“Open relationships”
Are perfectly acceptable so long as everyone involved understands what it is. I honestly think that a open relationship is healthier, but that’s just my beliefs. To each their own.

“Women who hate men”
Are misandrists, and are just as dumb as misogynists. I mean, seriously? Hating an entire sex is stupid and just plain irrational.

“Men should submit to women”
Only if that’s the type of relationship both partners/lovers want to have. Otherwise, no.

“Women should submit to men”
*sigh* Didn’t we just go over this? See above response.

“MRAs are misogynists”
Some are. The majority aren’t. Stop believing what the mainstream says and do some research for yourself.

“Having sex with unconscious men”
Is rape. Don’t do it.

“My girlfriend has no clit”
Pretty sure you are incorrect. Try again. Or better yet, ask her to masturbate for you or ask her where it is. Honestly, what the hell is with this whole ‘I’m old enough to have intimate relations, but not mature enough to talk to my partner about said relations’? Men and women of the internet: Grow up!

“All women only like jerks”
Nope. Some women only like jerks. Some like nice guys, some like traditionalist guys, some like egalitarian guys, and some like guys that used to be gals. It’s almost as though the hivemind doesn’t exist, and women are just as individualized as men. Wow!

“Men aren’t gentlemen anymore”
Untrue. But then, there’s a significant difference between being a gentleman and being happy with the current double standards of Western marriage/dating/interaction that we have. Also, gentleman I= doormat, so I can see some confusion here.

“I like being a furry”
Not quite sure how you ended up here, but hey…whatever you are into is good so long as it’s safe and consensual. If that means dressing up in animal costumes and hanging out/having sex with others who do that, you’re still ok in my book.

“How to find a decent lover”
Be open, be honest, be aware of what you enjoy and be willing to try new (safe!) things. Communicate your feelings back and forth. Let said partner know what your fantasies are, and see if any match up or could work well together. And, if you want a ‘decent’ lover, try to be one yourself.

Anime makes men hate women”
Doubtful. Sorry.

“Penises are great”
Yes, they are!

“Wicca is only for girls”
Nope. Lots of men and boys are Wiccan too. In fact, I first learned about the Neopagan religions from a boy in my class. Certain sects of the current Neopagan religions are only for gay men or lesbians, but the majority are open to everyone equally.

“Wiccans are a bad influence on children”
Really? Including our own? Sorry, you’re right, a religion that teaches having respect for men and women as equals, stresses personal responsibility for ones actions, cares for the natural world, and says that sex isn’t bad or that the human body isn’t inherently sinful is *totally* a bad influence.

“Would anyone have sex with a male virgin”
Leaving aside the fact that *everyone* is a virgin up until they have sex, I’m going to assume that this person meant “would anyone with a lot more sexual experience have sex with a male virgin”.
And the answer is yes. I certainly would, and so would other women (or men) who understand that having prior sexual experience/lack thereof doesn’t determine someone’s worth as a person or lover.

That’s all the ones I’m going to go over today, but if my readers like this type of post I’ll do more in the future. As always, leave comments or ask questions in a polite manner. 🙂


26 thoughts on “Responding To Search Terms

  1. Wow those search terms are all over the map! Interesting they all brought the readers here. The Internet works in mysterious ways.
    One thought on one bit above…if his girlfriend went through fgm she might really not have a clit. That would suck.

  2. Lol, I know. And other than the first I didn’t even pick any of the *really* strange ones. I have a feeling some of them are just related to snippets of comments/discussions rather than anything from my actual posts. One that I didn’t mention above is the fact that “tarnished sophia erudite knight” has come up again 4x this month. Makes me wonder if EK is writing about me for some reason, but whatever. I hope he’s doing ok despite our differences.

    You make a good point about FGM, I hadn’t thought about that. If this is what the person meant then yeah…completely different, and very depressing. I’m just so used to seeing people find my International Clitoris Week post from search terms like “how to find a clitoris”, “where is the clit located”, or “is the clitoris inside the vagina” that I didn’t even consider that the woman in question may not have one due to cruel ‘medical’ procedures.

    Then again, I also don’t approve of male circumcision, but have yet to finish my post about the masculine genitals. Am wondering what search words will come up *then*.

  3. Scratch that. My curiosity just got the better of me, so now I know that I’m being written about. It’s interesting how the blogger in question thinks that my initial attempts to keep the lines of communication open and oriented on his own topics of choice was some kind of demand for attention…lol. The fact that he’s the one who engaged in the (typically) feminine “cold shoulder” technique of being unresponsive rather than discussing the problem is kinda ironic in this situation. 😛

    *sigh* I wish things had gone differently, but it is what it is. If I’d known he had a thin skin about such remarks, I’d certainly have handled it in another way. No use crying over spilt milk though. At least now I know why I keep getting him in my search terms! 😀

  4. I liked all your responses, but especially these
    “Women do stupid things”
    “Open relationships”
    “Having sex with unconscious men”
    “All women only like jerks”
    “Wiccans are a bad influence on children”

  5. @KG

    Why thank you. They’re all how I truly feel about those topics, though I was…more blunt…with some of them than I typically am.

    A few only need a blunt response like the “unconscious men” one. I mean, come on. I did get a little ranty with the Wiccan one, I’ll admit. Do you ever encounter blatant ignorance in regards to your beliefs? I’ve spoken to a few people who make me want to literally facepalm while talking to them…

  6. I’m still unsure if the asker really meant “unconscious” or if they were talking about sleeping/drunk men, but to me that doesn’t really matter. Unless you’re in a relationship where you *know* the other person wouldn’t mind getting woken up with oral sex/regular sex…don’t do it.

  7. “[snip]…women are just as individualized as men.”

    *chuckle* Seriously?
    There is more variance among men with regard to any quantitative trait. The difference is not big, but verifiable, especially at the distribution tails.

  8. What kind of traits are you talking about? I wasn’t speaking of sex-linked/chromosomal traits or basic intelligence traits…I was referring to the fact that both men and women are fully capable of having individualized beliefs due to differences in upbringing, personality type, religious background, ethnicity, general likes and dislikes, etc.

  9. This is true, and is a extremely interesting study, but doesn’t affect my assertion that women are individuals just as men are. This is why we have female Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians…vegetarians, omnivores, fruititarians…serial killers, saints, average citizens…pro-choice, anti-abortion…feMRAs, feminists, egalitarians. I could go on, but my point should be obvious already. 😉

  10. What would you think, if someone were to call for “emotional equality” between men and women, making it a part of their political agenda?

  11. People of differing personalities often respond to the same situations differently, feel not-exactly-the-same emotions, have differing experiences accumulated during their lifetimes, in part as the effect of making different choices in their prior words and actions. Isn’t it totalitarian to expect otherwise? And, for me, it is what the “equality of outcome” boils down to.

  12. If by “emotional equality” you mean that both men and women are able to experience, acknowledge, and discuss the full range of human emotion without being told to “man up” or “smile” by society/strangers…I’d be fine with that.

    Not sure how that could be worked into a political platform easily though.

  13. In this example, it would definitely be totalitarian (not to mention blatantly unrealistic) to expect everyone to have the same emotional response.

    I don’t approve of equality of outcome, because that is also unrealistic. However, equality of opportunities is a valid goal that has mostly been achieved for women and still needs some work for men.

  14. “[…]experience[…]the full range of human emotions?”

    Voluntarily? Including murderous rage? Suicidal ideation? Thanks, but I have to decline. And, when mentioning “emotional equality”, I had in mind the Big Think soundbyte uttered by Gloria Allred. It’s still on YouTube today.

  15. Those are taken to extremes, but yes…nobody should feel ashamed or lesser for experiencing anger or sadness. It is due to these ideas that “women should always be polite and smiling” or “men shouldn’t allow themselves to feel depressed or hurt” that society is the way it is currently.

    I haven’t heard of her, but I’ll take a listen and get back to you later.

  16. “Men shouldn’t allow themselves to feel depressed or hurt”

    I read it as “Men shouldn’t allow themselves to ruminate on their negative feelings instead of implementing changes to their lives that eliminate/minimize causes of those feelings”.

    Excessive use of obscenities is not a commendable behavior, regardless of gender.

  17. While the advice of “don’t ruminate on the negatives/implement changes that can improve your situation” is great (for both sexes), this is not what I was talking about. Take the example of one of my friends a few years ago; His father had just died 2 weeks prior, and one night while leaving work he had been talking about something funny his dad once said. Immediately after telling the joke, my friend got very quiet and stone-faced. I walked closer to him and could see unshed tears in his eyes and that he was shaking. I gave him a long hug and held his hand…but he still didn’t actually cry.

    This is what I meant. The fact that a man’s very father can die after an excruciating battle with cancer and he feels as though he cannot grieve even with the support and compassion of a friend by his side. Not only is this mentally and physically unhealthy, but it is frustrating in how utterly unnecessary it is. Men and women have a wide range of emotions, and telling *anyone* they cannot express themselves in a healthy manner is revolting.

    I’m not saying to let your feelings get the better of you. I’m saying that we all need to acknowledge them, accept them for what they are, and use them in such a way that they’ll make us more well-rounded people.

  18. Well, somehow our discussion has steered into the direction of personal anecdote. Continuing it would require more self-disclosure than I am comfortable with, so I leave it at that:

    A personality disorder: “[…an] enduring maladaptive pattern of behavior, cognition and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating markedly from those accepted by the individual’s culture. These patterns develop early, are inflexible[…]”.

    To say that I am not emotionally close with my parents would be a huge understatement. In addition, I am not terribly fond of unsolicited hugs. So, a similar gesture would not be appreciated as much as expected. Well, a majority of people would react differently. 🙂

  19. It doesn’t have to. I provided said anecdote as clarification of my views, since you tend to take what I say to the extreme. Not saying this is a bad thing necessarily, but I wanted to give clear understanding and thought a personal experience that shows my reasoning would help. There is no need for you to disclose anything from your own life unless you believe it would further clarify your position.

    For what it’s worth, I don’t get along at all with my father, stepfather, or stepmother and have always felt loved-but-not-liked around my mother. I am/was much closer to my grandparents, and put a lot more energy into my friendships. We are of like mind on the hug/unsolicited touching front as well. The friend in my example is 50x more touchy-feely though, so I *can* force myself to give hugs if it’s someone I care about or who obviously needs human contact. I agree that this is probably along the lines of a personality disorder, especially if we use the definition you’ve provided.

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