All The Single Ladies

In going over the data I have for MGTOWs that I’ve gotten so far, a pattern has begun to emerge. Namely, that a significant number of men going their own way who are single do not necessarily wish to be…in other words, they would like to be in a committed relationship but do not feel that the current divorce/alimony/custody laws are sufficiently fair (read: not fair at all) to warrant such a gamble. Hence, we of the Western world** have a subset of men who, under more equal circumstances, would actually prefer to be in loving marriages and LTRs with women. Of course, other MGTOWs are perfectly happy being bachelors and wouldn’t be interested in marriage or LTRs even with optimal conditions.

Which got me wondering: What side are single women on? Do the majority of women still desire marriage, or are we seeing a new wave of “independent women” who have decided that it’s better to remain single for all their lives?

According to a 2013 Gallup poll, the majority of Americans still want to get married at some point in their lives, with only 5% of us saying “no thanks” to the idea altogether. Various reasons for not currently being married included financial worries, not finding the right person, still attending college or school, and other issues that made responders hesitant to wed immediately. Unfortunately, the results were not broken up according to sex, so it’s impossible to tell what men said vs what women said.

http://www.gallup.com/poll/163802/marriage-importance-dropped.aspx

But it is worth noting that a 2010 Pew Research survey found that;

“Men and women’s attitudes about marrying for the first time are not different among young adults. But among never-married adults ages 30 to 50, men (27%) are more likely than women (8%) to say they do not want to marry.”

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/02/13/love-and-marriage/

If this data is to be believed, then it appears that not only do most Americans want marriage in their lives, but women want it a significant amount more than men. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any trends or studies in this area, so I’m unsure of how this has changed in the past…if at all. Perhaps women have always wanted marriage more than men, even when there is no true reason for them to need it anymore.

So here’s my questions for female readers:

1. Are you single? If so, is it a conscious decision to be such?

2. Were you ever married? If so, are you a widow or divorcee?

3. Do you want to get married/remarried?

4. How old are you? If you were previously married, how old were you at the time of your wedding?

5. If you want marriage or are already married, why? If you don’t want marriage, why not?

6. For those who currently are, or used to be married, would you do it again?

7. Any other information you wish to impart, or clarifications of your answers.

My readers already know my stance on singlehood and marriage…I’m in the 5% of Americans who don’t want a “ball and chain”. Now I want to know what other women want and why. Let’s see how your answers compare to my MGTOW survey. Perhaps there’s some common ground to be found?

**Japan may also be included in this due to the recent rise of “herbivore men”, but I’m not 100% sure of their reasons for shunning relations with women, so will not speak of cultural issues I’m not familiar with. Should any readers have better information, feel free to post in the comments.

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6 thoughts on “All The Single Ladies

  1. Typically women get custody of children because the standard is “Best interest of the child,” and typically women are more likely to sacrifice careers to care for children. That leaves the children feeling more bonded to their mother. So it’s harder for the children to leave mom than dad, In terms of physical custody.
    What would be unfair would be for women to make more sacrifices for children financially, and then lose the kids too. Then she would lose on both counts – Money and kids– and he would win on both counts.
    If you want equality, then men and women need to be equally likely to sacrifice career for children so that children are equally bonded to both parents, and then do joint physical custody. Or, physical custody can be given to whichever parent has made more sacrifices and bonded more with the child.
    Gender shouldn’t be important. Bonding with the child should.

  2. Another question: how are the divorce and alimony laws seen as not fair?
    Typically women tend to make less money than men, partly because of discrimination and partly because women typically sacrifice career for children. If those types of sexism were erased, then men wouldn’t end up paying alimony. The issue wouldn’t be based on gender, it would be based on whether one person sacrificed career more for children.

  3. 1. Are you single? If so, is it a conscious decision to be such?
    No. I realized recently that in my adult life, I’ve only really been single for about three months. I’ve always considered myself an independent person so this was a strange realization. I guess I would say that it wasn’t a conscious decision to be in relationship after relationship.
    2. Were you ever married? If so, are you a widow or divorcee?
    I’m married now. Happily. =)
    3. Do you want to get married/remarried?
    I was rather indifferent to the idea. I love my husband but like my independence. It was more important to him then it was to me. I still haven’t changed my last name. I was more concerned about all the legal aspects.
    4. How old are you? If you were previously married, how old were you at the time of your wedding?
    31, I got married at 30 and was engaged at 26.
    5. If you want marriage or are already married, why? If you don’t want marriage, why not?
    I’m with my husband because I love him. I married him to protect him and myself. I want him to be eligible for my health insurance, social security benefits, inheriting property, making medical decisions and all the other benefits that come with marriage.
    6. For those who currently are, or used to be married, would you do it again?
    If anything happened to my husband, it’s hard to picture myself being with anyone else. A friend and I were talking and we discussed if our current relationships failed we both believe that we wouldn’t be interested in seeking other relationships. It’s like we gave it a shot and it didn’t work out so may be its not for us.
    Thankfully, things are working out.
    7. Any other information you wish to impart, or clarifications of your answers.
    Actually, yes. Slate has published an article citing studies that are showing that family courts are becoming fairer when it comes to deciding custody rights between men and women. Judge’s favor joint custody unless there is undeniable proof that either the mother or father is a detriment to the child.
    The biggest issue comes in when the mother and father aren’t married. So if you really want to protect your paternity rights, it actually benefits you to marry the mother of your child, at least according to this article.
    I do want to clarify that even though I don’t look at marriage the same way my husband does we are together because we love each other, not because we’re legally bound to be. I like the idea that he can leave whether we’re married or not, I truly believe in divorce. I know that he’s here because he wants to be, not because he’s forced. Life is too short to be miserable.
    I’m not saying that divorce should or is an easy decision but I do believe it is a necessary part of a free society and that miserable marriages are more harmful to children then amicable divorces.

  4. BroadBlogs said @May 15, 2014 at 3:47 PM
    “Typically women tend to make less money than men, partly because of discrimination and partly because women typically sacrifice career for children.”
    Again with the discrimination canard. Your evidence is?

  5. 1. Are you single? If so, is it a conscious decision to be such?
    I married at 36 and have remained so for 6 years.
    2. Were you ever married? If so, are you a widow or divorcee?
    I had one brief, foolish marriage at 26 which lasted 6 months.
    3. Do you want to get married/remarried?
    I hope not.
    4. How old are you? If you were previously married, how old were you at the time of your wedding?
    See 1 and 2.
    5. If you want marriage or are already married, why? If you don’t want marriage, why not?
    Honestly, because he asked. I would have been happy to cohabit as we had been doing.
    6. For those who currently are, or used to be married, would you do it again?
    Yes, I don’t regret getting married. But I don’t think it was a huge deal, and my wedding was a pretty low-key affair. I would sooner eat my shoes than suffer through a giant white-dress wedding.

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