Hi all. I’m going to be heading into work a few hours early tomorrow to (hopefully) finish up part 2 of the MGTOW Survey Results, but I just wanted to blog a bit about the importance of touch. I’ll have a much more in depth post on this topic next month, yet something happened today that I can’t get out of my mind. Well, two somethings, but they’re very related.
This morning, I was grocery shopping and down one aisle was an elderly man, probably around 75 years old, bent low by age. He was obviously trying to grab a container from the highest shelf with no luck, and not a single person walking by was stopping to help him. Though I didn’t need anything from this section, I went to see if I could assist. After putting my hand on his shoulder to let him know I was there, I asked him which item he needed, got it down and put it in his cart. As I’m straightening up, he grabs my wrist and kind of lurches towards me.
Now typically this sort of body language and unannounced touching would send me straight into defense mode…for some reason, not this time. My hackles were up, yes, but I willed myself to stay still and not step back as I was tightly embraced. After a few moments, I returned the hug, wrapping my arms around the man’s shoulders and purposefully relaxing my muscles. I’m sure we looked fairly odd, standing in the aisle like that. But the intense gratitude I saw on this wrinkled visage when we parted ways more than made up for it. It seemed I did more than simply retrieve a jar of honey…
While I was at work this afternoon, one of the card game players approached me with a question.
“Tarn, why are women so heartless?”
I was a little surprised by how blunt the query was, but immediately understood where he was coming from. Women, like all human beings, are not a monolith and a good number of them can be very cold and mean. I myself have been on the receiving end of female cruelty, both in school and later in real life. After talking for a bit, I discovered that his girlfriend of 2 years had broken up with him on the day his uncle died, supposedly because he was getting “too weepy and needy” due to his uncle’s fatal illness and some other family issues that left him emotionally vulnerable.
So much for “all” girls liking sensitive guys.
As my customer began telling me his failures in finding a new companion, I began to feel like I should do something. I am still not sure if it was the way he spoke, how his scent reminded me of my lover when he’s sad, or just the dejected look in his eyes…but I grasped his closest hand in both of mine. The hurt I immediately felt made me want to let go, but I didn’t until he cleared his throat. Of course I stopped, afraid I’d messed up one of the many subtleties of human body language once again, but he assured me I didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, it’d been 8 months since another person had touched him.
For the rest of our conversation I held his hand, despite my discomfort. Sadly, the pieces of advice I gave were all things he’d already used so I wasn’t much help there. But he actually thanked me for being willing to listen and treat him like a fellow person, and said that my holding his hand was the best thing that happened to him this month. (Wish I was lying about that part, honestly.)
So I put it to you, dear readers;
Have you ever noticed someone who just needed to have their humanity reaffirmed? What did you do?
Do you think our culture insists males don’t need touch, or does it affect men and women alike once we are adults?
Have you ever been hugged or asked for some type of contact by a stranger? How did you/would you react?