I’ve been thinking about the role of women in the manosphere…if there is one at all. It was just recently that I saw some of my stats had mgtowhq as the referrer. Curious, I went to check it out.
What I found was that someone had copy/pasted a post from a blog I used to frequent, that of Erudite Knight. In it, he mentions both myself and JudgyBitch (a married, pseudo-traditionalist woman who blogs and has an extremely large following in the manosphere, including a presence at AVfM). While I don’t see eye to eye with some of what she writes, there is no doubt that she is a well-known and most assuredly female voice. Here’s what EK had to say in his aforementioned post, with commentary by me in bold;
What is a painful irony is the prevalence and success of women in the Manosphere…
I agree with this. For example, if there were 100 male and 20 female bloggers/youtubers in the manosphere, I see little reason for the 20 women to have more views, higher rankings, or greater publicity than the men. Men talking openly about male issues is a fantastic thing, and shouldn’t be overshadowed by FeMRAs or female MGTOW supporters, no matter how helpful.
For example, I actually started blogging with a handful of guys at nearly the same time along with Judgy Bitch (yes the ‘great and lauded’ JB) and Tarnished Sophia, by virtue of being women they have had much more success. Nearly every guy languishes in obscurity but these ‘novel’ females get endless praise, quite frankly I roll my eyes every time I see a jb link or a reference of that ‘women are waking up’ and its talking about jb or some other female-run site. Look at judgy bitch, her stuff is not ANY different than anyone else, and actually there are obscure blogs which much better stuff, yet she has TONS of success.
Also true. JB started blogging in October 2012 and has 4,255 followers…quite an impressive feat. EK started in December 2012 and as of today has 141 followers. I’m bringing up the rear in how long my blog has been around…I started in April 2013 and have 287 followers, only 146 more than Knight does. Is my blog “much more successful” than his own? Doesn’t seem so to me, but that’s my opinion. My blog is just my thoughts on society put out into the digital ether, not a tool for winning Teh Interwebz Popularity Contest.
Consider the complete lunacy of a married older women presuming to give advice or understand the plight of young disenfranchised males? Or how about a lesser known but similar situation of ‘tarnished sophia’ a girl who’s claim to fame is that she thinks she is a guy trapped in a girls body…what the fuck is this idiocy doing in the manosphere where it is about guys learning how to better themselves?
I can’t really say anything about JB’s stuff since I haven’t read her blog for over 6 months, but I can honestly say that gender dysphoria is not my claim to fame. If I have one at all, it’s as a blatant MGTOW supporter or maybe as an egalitarian writer. Now, do I have a few posts about my g.d.? Yes, because it impacts my life on a daily basis and gives me a unique (and sometimes difficult to accept) perspective on male-female relations. Then again, I also have a number of posts about religion…it’d be just as easy to say my “claim to fame” is that I’m Wiccan.
I actually have some bad blood with both of them so I am not scared to criticize them, without going into a bitch fest suffice it to say girls being girls and the betrayals, slights and lies that come with that fact are to be expected; and suffice it to say women blogging about men issues is a blight most don’t seem to get.
I’ve no idea what bad blood EK has with JB, but I know that ours is due to a joke a commenter of mine made that EK took offense to. When I didn’t let his response through because it violated my Comments Policy, he felt that I betrayed him, even though I removed the offending joke and offered to help him pen a response that would stick on topic without becoming a personal attack on the other person. Thus, our blogging friendship came to an end for the most part. I did comment on a few more of his posts, but was largely ignored (as is his right).
This is also a perfect microcosm of women’s hypergamy instinct at play, I was ‘their level’ at the time we all started (including the other males like gregarious wolf, odin’s lounge etc) so they ‘hung out’ with us, but when their value started to leave our’s behind…they moved on.
Again, I have no clue what JB’s initial numbers were, but can’t recall a single time I saw her on any of the manosphere blogs I frequented, including EK’s own. However, if he says that they hung out online and were at the same basic level, I’ve no reason to doubt him. Personally, I didn’t “move on” because of increased value…I did so because his posts started to mention supposed inherent inferiorities of black ethnic groups, which I do not believe in and find to be racist. This, combined with the cold shoulder treatment I’d been getting for weeks, was the catalyst to my departure from EK’s blog alone. I still read Odin’s Lounge, still commented on M3’s blog as well as Stoner’s and GNL’s, still visit AVfM…(I was never at Gregarious Wolf’s to begin with, so maybe that’s where EK knew JB from?).
This (minus my commentary, of course) is what was published and commented on at mgtowhq, which is all well and good. However, my initial response to EK from months ago was not, which was;
EK, I never claimed to be part of the manosphere. I talk about how things should be more equal between the sexes, and a lot of my posts do revolve around how men in Western society get a bad rap or have laws that are double standards, but I never give out Red Pill advice. Mine is an egalitarian blog, not an MRM one.
If you see someone talking about my blog as a manosphere one, that’s up to them, not me. Maybe I’m on the very outermost fringes since egalitarian views overlap with manosphere ones, but I’m hardly on a JB, Dr. Helen, or SSM level. Oh, and as only 5 of my 88 posts are specifically about my gender dysphoria, I hardly think that’s my “claim to fame”.
Okay, so what’s the point of bringing all this up? Well, I know there are some very intelligent and honest men who comment here, and I want to hear your opinions. I already know what some of you will say…others, no idea. But if you would be so kind as to give your thoughts on what I write here, it’d be much appreciated.
1. Do you consider my blog to be part of the manosphere? I never have, but if it is thought of that way then perhaps I have different responsibilities.
2. Should women (whether fully female or just female-bodied) have a voice in the manosphere? If yes, what steps can they take to make sure their male counterparts get just as much (or more)attention? If not, then what media outlet can we use to show our support for boys and men, or speak out against the corruption of a male-disposable system?
3. Do manosphere men want women to be empathetic to their plights? On one hand, it would seem so because there is constant (justified) talk of how the majority of women don’t care about men and this is obviously harmful/painful. But then some say that female sympathy and aid is not wanted or needed, and is in fact patronizing. Which one do you believe?
4. How should the manosphere handle the presence of Female-to-Male transsexuals, gender dysphoric “women”, or others who identify as men but are not? Are they seen as RadFems see Male-to-Female transsexuals, namely spies or living insults to those born into the ‘correct’ sex? Or can they have a voice, provided it takes into account the differences between cis and trans life (as in acknowledging that male-bodied men have it significantly harder)?
These are honest questions, and I’m looking for equally honest answers. Don’t comment with what you think I want to hear…give me your real opinion. There’s no pedestalization of women here, myself definitely included. I want to acknowledge the fact that my body type/sex gives me advantages that men don’t have…Even though I don’t desire or accept help based on my sex, I live with the truth that it is nearly always available. Because of this, in some ways it doesn’t matter how masculine-oriented my brain is since society still views me as female and therefore constantly victimized/in need of help. Until we can reach true equality, it will always be thus. Hence the reason I blog about the difficulties boys and men face. But if it turns out I need to do so in a different way, then it shall be done.
If you have advice or thoughts about how to change or improve this blog, now is the time to say so.