Or at least a lot of them would, if truly independent women weren’t so rare. It’s easy to talk the talk of being a “strong, independent womyn” but when it comes to walking the walk many women stumble and fall. Most don’t even know they’re doing it, but then are at a complete loss in the world of relationships.
Why? I’ll tell you why…
1. If you constantly have to tell people you’re strong and independent, you probably aren’t.
I see this in magazines, on dating sites, relationship blogs, and posted every day on Facebook. Women who in one post will state that they are independent, yet an hour later complain about how some man in their life didn’t drop everything and cater to their whims or needs.
Your boyfriend didn’t answer your text within 10 minutes? An independent woman would recognize that he’s likely away from his phone and go on with her life knowing her man will reply when he’s available.
Your husband didn’t rush out of his job to help you with a flat tire? A strong woman would tell her husband what happened, but then either change the tire herself or call a tow truck for assistance.
Your father told you he could only afford half your tuition so you’ll have to work while going to college? An independent woman would thank her father for any help he’s willing to give, and start job searching the same day.
If your responses are to instead hound your boyfriend by repeatedly sending increasingly desperate texts, bully your husband into leaving his place of work to help you, or log onto Facebook and continuously bitch about how working will cut into your “college life”…Sorry, but you aren’t independent.
2. You haven’t grown up.
Okcupid, match.com, plentyoffish …name a dating site and I’ll show you a mess of women who say something along the lines of “I’m looking for a guy who can handle me” or “if you can’t keep up, you’re not worth my time”.
Ladies, what the hell is this? Don’t get me wrong, I am glad you are advertising up front that you are stuck in a high school mentality since it’ll make it easier for men to skip dating you. But the fact you believe a man would be attracted to someone who’s his own age yet still requires “handling” just goes to show your true intent. You’re not looking for a partner…you’re looking for a daddy figure.
3. You bring your work home.
Or should I say, your work personality. The always-on-time, go-getter, rat-race-winner you should not be the at-home you. I don’t care how much you love your career, the thrill you get from running your department, or how you truly enjoy rubbing elbows with others in the business world. The point is, both men and women act differently when at work than when at home…or they should. Many men complain about how their careerist wives tend to remain in a “big dog” mentality when with their husbands, instead of being the women they fell for. Does this mean you have to automatically become a submissive, non-opinionated wife as soon as you get home? No, of course not! But if your spouse can leave his job outside, so can you. The relationship you build together is meant to be a sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the world…not an extension of it.
Next time I’ll have 3 more points to go over. In the meantime, what do you think of the ones listed above?