Or at least a lot of them would, if truly independent women weren’t so rare. It’s easy to talk the talk of being a “strong, independent womyn” but when it comes to walking the walk many women stumble and fall. Most don’t even know they’re doing it, but then are at a complete loss in the world of relationships. Here’s 3 more things that actual “strong, independent women” do.
Continuation of my post here:
4. If you’re actually independent, you’ll have your own friends and hobbies.
This isn’t to say that you and the man in your life can’t share interests or have mutual acquaintances…in fact, having parts of your lives that aren’t wholly separate is great for keeping common ground. But there are still women who try to do everything their boyfriend/husband does, and that can get very annoying very quickly. If you like sewing, book clubs, and snorkeling there’s no reason to force yourself to learn engine repair or Asian cooking just because that’s what your man is into. Likewise, attempting to insert yourself into every outing between him and his friends is a major faux pas. It won’t seem like it to you, but your presence changes the entire dynamic of the group. Rather than a relaxing evening spent joking, drinking, and shooting the shit while doing a favorite activity, it’ll turn into an incredibly PC and boring couple of hours. You have times to talk openly and honestly with your friends…let him have the same.
5. Sex is a mutually desired and fun activity, never a reward or bargaining chip.
I’ve mentioned this topic before here, but it bears repeating: Sexual intimacy should not be considered positive reinforcement. The deliberate withholding of sex from one’s partner (whether male or female) for nonmedical reasons is a pretty trite thing to do. I’m not saying drop everything anytime your partner is horny and become a slave to their arousal…that’s just stupid and unrealistic. But don’t become a Spreadsheet Spouse either. Just respect the fact that sexuality is a healthy part of being alive, and enjoy sharing pleasure with your loved one. Even if you don’t have an orgasm every time, isn’t it enough to know that you’ve made your partner’s day a little better?
6. You’ll be more than happy to split any bills accumulated together.
Truly independent women have jobs that actually pay bills and hopefully result in some amount of savings. (Yes, I’m aware that the economy sucks for many people and not every man/woman can be independent to the extent they’d like to be.) But then why are there so many women…even self-identified feminists …who expect the guy to not only plan the entire date, but to pay for the entire thing as well? It’s no secret to previous readers that I pay for 99% of the meals/entertainment between my FwB and I, but this should hardly be something “special”. Nobody gets a cookie for acting like an adult, and it shouldn’t be considered a monumentus occasion to find a woman who will go dutch on the first date or (gasp!) pay for it all herself. After all, men are expected to, even if they bring home a smaller paycheck than the woman sitting across from them. Maybe every once in a while he’d like to be the one to sit back and enjoy a meal without needing to reach for his wallet at the end of it…
So, what do you think, readers?
Did this list encompass everything that a real “strong, independent woman” would do, or did something get skipped? What do you think of the list, and how many men here have met a woman like this in their dating life?