Francis uses a YouTube video to illustrate what happens when you go from having preferences to simply being entitled. Well done, my friend. Well done.
You make a number of errors. The first is that we care about what you think of our genitals. The second is that we somehow have some moral duty to inform you about the shape of our genitals. The third is that we have some duty to “do whatever you want.” “My main goal is to make you happy.” One has must be a sick person to either say it, or expect it a potential partner to say so. “She is the most important thing.” Entitled much? You aren’t “the most important thing.” You may or may not be important to him, but he is the most important person in his life. You either agree to walk your paths side-by-side, or you expect abject servility.
If I were generous, I could stretch and say that what you’re hoping for is open and honest communication. But that would be overly generous…
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Tarnished Sophia 
Well, I think she was refering to the sex act, NOT relationships in general.
If she loves him, she will accept his imperfections, like Tarnished accepts the
the imperfections of her F.W.B.
You don’t stay with a person for 12 (?) years and not accept their imperfections.
He’s 16 years older? That means he was born in the Chinese Year of the Monkey.
“Monkeys” and “Rats” get along very well. No doubt, that’s why it’s lasted that long.
I was just wondering: You schedule your trists. Is it straight to the bedroom? Or, is
there a little bit of cuddling and hand holding before the hurried event occurs?
Also, I very much reccomend that you read the chapter on the Ennagram 2 personality
in the book “Personality Types,” by John Richard Riso.
You thought you had to please the MONSTERS in your life. You thought if only you
were compliant enough, the torture would stop. You had no say in what happened to
you, or the fact that your mother was “oblivious.”
With God’s help, and your own inate inner strength, you PREVAILED.
Just be sure your great loving ability is not wasted on “unworthy” people.
Thanks for your recent comments, Lon. I’m at a business convention right now, but will respond tomorrow.
Actually, I have 2 minutes and wanted to put this out there. Having a small or large or bent penis is NOT a flaw. I’d be extremely cautious in calling it an “imperfection”. So long as the man can use it to:
1. Urinate out of, and
2. Feel pleasure with,
he has a perfect penis. This goes for regular/average sized males as well as those with really large penises or micropenises. In the same way women shouldn’t be shamed for their breast or labia size, men shouldn’t be shamed for their penis size…regardless of what it is.
Also, my FwB and I have been “together” for a little over 8 years (I shared my virginity with him when I was 22, and am 30 now). While it’s true I accept…and even love…most of his imperfections, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say he does the same for me.
So does she turn that into a pickle?
Is this the end? Did you REALLY take down your blog? When I tried to Google it
this morning, I found an older posting and had to work my way here. Are you aware
of the flaw? Please don’t leave with out some “preporaration.” Google the song
“Break It To Me Gentlely” for my viewpoints on this. If you should go-which you will
eventually-know that you will be irrplaceable for millions!
First off, she’s old and passed her prime and she should be grateful for any dick she can get.
Secondly, if she expect us carrot guys to tell her upfront and promise to satisfy her loose vagina anyway we can, I expect this girl to let us know upfront that she is Grand Canyon pussy girl and to promise us anal sex so our dicks could actually feel something.
Lon, if I took down my blog you wouldn’t be able to find it at all. It’s likely just Google doing some rearranging or the settings on your computer making result determinations based on what you typically search.
Hamstertamer,
I agree she’s a bit older (mid 40s?), but is hardly ugly or a hag. I’ve known men and women who get married in their 60s and 70s…even have heard of weddings taking place in senior homes. Guess age is relative to the viewer. I personally don’t like her due to personality, not looks.
Also: lol at the idea of “loose” vaginas. The vagina is a muscle, albeit an ‘inside out’ one. It doesn’t get loose except during childbirth, and even then it goes back to approximately 90% of it’s original tightness after 6 months.
Now, as with all muscle and skin, elasticity goes get lost with age. But in the same way there are men and women who are quite old yet retain their muscles through diligent workouts, so too can they keep good control of their abdominal/vaginal muscles by exercising those areas (aka kegels). These are excellent to do anyway…not only do they strengthen the pelvic floor of both sexes, but can lead to better orgasms.
Anal sex or play can be very fun for men, women, and their partners but it is still a bit taboo in our culture. Can also take a while to do it successfully, but at the proper angles men and women alike can have orgasms from it.
“I agree she’s a bit older (mid 40s?), but is hardly ugly or a hag.”
I might have been a bit harsh, but I wanted to get my point across. She’s not ugly but definitely not attractive enough to justify her entitlement. She’s a big mac who thinks she’s a filet mignon. For the record, I have no problem with old people finding love or getting married.
“Also: lol at the idea of “loose” vaginas. The vagina is a muscle, albeit an ‘inside out’ one. It doesn’t get loose except during childbirth, and even then it goes back to approximately 90% of it’s original tightness after 6 months.”
I don’t have any scientific studies to prove this, but my penis definitely disagree. Maybe because I’m a carrot guy. 😉
Heh…I do love the men/women who think they’re “god’s gift to mankind”. What they don’t realize is that mankind is still looking for the receipts so we can return them. 😉
I’ve done a decent amount of research into this second part, not only asking my gynecologist and nurses I know as well as looking up articles online, but also just asking friends and my lover what their experiences are. The consensus seems to be exactly what I said above BUT also with a slight disclaimer: women who get really lubricated may feel “looser” to guys who’ve been with not-so-wet women previously, since there’s less friction. Again, the woman doing kegels during sex should more than “remedy” this since it involves rhythmically contracting around their lover’s penis. I have this “problem”, but he’s actually quite turned on by it, as a few of his previous partners had trouble staying lubricated through the act, which can end up being uncomfortable.
It makes sense that vaginas don’t generally get “loose with use”, if you think about it. If most penises are the same size and shape (give or take 2″ in length or 1″ in girth), then even if the vagina *wasn’t* a muscle there shouldn’t really be any major stretching to worry about. If vaginas honestly did get “looser” from sexual penetration alone, then I should be looser after having sex 1-3x a week for the last 8 years. But I’m not, and vaginal sex is still amazing for both of us, whether I’m doing kegels at the time or not. I think this idea gets causation and correlation mixed up…older women (who don’t exercise their pelvic floor) can be looser, but it’s due to the natural loss of elasticity and muscle mass when humans age. As a 50 year old woman has probably, though not always, had more sexual partners than a 18 year old woman, we’re tempted to say “she’s loose because of sex” not “she’s loose because of age and lack of kegels”.
As for being a “carrot” guy…that’s great! Whatever you were born with is splendid and perfect, so long as it’s in good working order and gives you pleasure. 🙂
My husband says his ex girlfriend got very very loose after about the first six months. She was only 19 then, and it only got worse…to the point he’d have to push her ass cheeks together or it was too loose. I’m pretty sure it happens, based on that.
Interesting. Why do you think it occurred? Is there a possibility she had a legitimate medical issue, like incredibly poor muscle control, loss of elasticity, a damaged pelvic floor, a tilted uterus/vaginal canal, etc? Were I in her situation, I’d go get it checked out immediately…that’s not even remotely healthy sounding and could have meant something was really wrong.
I don’t know why, Tarn. Yeah…it doesn’t sound right, but I’m not sure it’s all that uncommon. I doubt she thought anything about it (he didn’t tell her she was getting loose and baggy…I don’t think most men would).
Most likely it’s individual to the person. I’m a meso/ectomorph and (huge knock on wood) haven’t had any issues like that…do far. Even after babies. Actually, it wasn’t only after babies that we were a comfortable enough “fit”. Required a lot of lube before that. (sorry, TMI I know)
“was only after babies”, meant to say….typos above.
I like how even though I was talking about loose vaginas, anal sex, and a small dick — you responded with such rational and logical replies.
Hmm. I probably would have gently mentioned it to my partner, just because it could have been something serious, like muscular degeneration or some sort of atrophy of her pc muscles. Like I said…doesn’t seem like anything that should ever happen, and isn’t supported by anyone I’ve spoken to (either anecdotally or not). My gyno actually laughed when I asked him, and said that if he had such a patient he’d bet she would be completely unable to get pregnant…but he’d never heard of such a thing except from women who’d recently given birth or had surgery.
I’m glad your size issues got sorted out after having kids. In my own experience, my lover is very close to a perfect fit, with only minor stretching feelings (lengthwise) to ease around. I’m always thankful he’s average sized…I look at guys who do porn and just think “ouch”. They’re probably a good fit for someone, but that someone wouldn’t be me, at least vaginally.
Hamstertamer,
Of course, my dear sir!
How are men and women supposed to have honest and educational discussions about such a pertinent topic if we get “offended” at everything? I’ll answer anything so long as there’s no threat of it doxxing me.
P.S. to Liz,
Not saying it never happens, just that it seems unlikely to occur due to vaginal sex alone. A good “test” your not-yet-husband could’ve done with her would be to abstain from vaginal sex for 2-3 weeks, and only done things like oral. If after 3 weeks of no potential stretching whatsoever still resulted in her being loose, it’d show there was a bigger issue to deal with. If she turned out to actually be tighter than 3 weeks prior, it could probably be assumed she had kinda pathetic pc muscles, and could do exercises to fix this.
” A good “test” your not-yet-husband could’ve done with her would be to abstain from vaginal sex for 2-3 weeks, and only done things like oral. If after 3 weeks of no potential stretching whatsoever still resulted in her being loose, it’d show there was a bigger issue to deal with.”
Yeah, like possibly she was banging king kong behind his back. 😀
Tarn, I only have the one example to go by, so I don’t know. I do know (for myself, anecdotally) sex was impossible for us without lube and a lot of foreplay, at the beginning. It did become easier over time, and I don’t think it was only because I was more turned on/less nervous…I didn’t stay nervous THAT long.
…I also know that a lot of anal sex can weaken the sphincter muscle over time (resulting in fecal incontinence).
“Yeah, like possibly she was banging king kong behind his back”
Lol Hamstertamer. 🙂
I don’t think it works that way. It doesn’t work that way for the anal sphincter, and from what my husband said, taking a break never brought it “back”.
That poor woman… 😦
I hope she doesn’t suffer from incontinence later in life.
Lol, yeah. Those kinds of muscles aren’t really “made” for that. We only do anal play/sex once a month, if that. I’m so lucky to have a partner who’s so open minded…I hear from a lot of women that their man’s anus is a “no fly zone”. 😉
So “clinical.” That’s what I’ve noticed about you.
Like the time you said you set a “timer” to see how quick it would take to get an orgasim.
Did you ever think of becoming a “sex researcher” like Masters and Johnson? Have
you seen the cable series “The Masters Of Sex?’ They very cleverly have the “E” turned
upside down to make it look like a woman’s plevis.
I was wondering if you slowly eased into sex with your F.W.B. Who made the first move?
Did you discuss it like a transcation? Or, did he assume you were “game” and make his
“move?” The reason I ask these questions is because, some of us can’t even conceive
of such things occurring.
You didn’t like “touch” prior to the first time. Did you gradually (And experimenatally)
get over this fear, or did you plunge right in?
Also, you said you didn’t want marriage OR children. Is that because you fear the
emotional vulnerabity that would entail? I knew an abused boy who compared himself
to a “fortress.” He brimmed with sarcasm. That’s not you. Do you think one day your
F.W.B. might move in so you could have more EMOTIONAL support, or would that
spoil everything?
My lover is already very emotionally supportive to me, as I am to him. That’s what friends are supposed to do for each other, and we truly are friends with benefits, after all. If we weren’t friends first, we never would have become what we are now.
He did make the first move, but I think that’s to be expected since I was 21 and had no experience but he was 37 and had lots of experience. We went very slowly, and it took nearly a year for us to go from hugging to vaginal sex. I shared my virginity with him 10 days short of my 22nd birthday, and was very pleased that there was absolutely no pain or blood, and that he insisted I be on top. It’s still my favorite position, lol.
He didn’t automatically assume I was “game”. It was more that we had been having an open, honest conversation about sex and he asked me if I was still a virgin due to religious beliefs. I told him the truth, that I’d like to have sex, but was too scared of it and didn’t think it would be moral to make my hypothetical boyfriend wait for me to get over my fear. It was my understanding, through much of high school and college, that a female who waited past the first 3 dates to have sex was a “cocktease” and even if the guy was fine with waiting past this point it was assumed that sex would happen within a month or two. I knew that was impossible for me, so other than 2 really miserable dates in high school, I never dated. Since it had been a while since he’d last had a partner and he has a kind heart as well as previous girlfriends who’d been betrayed by their male relatives before, he was the best type of person to teach me that “intimacy” wasn’t just another word for dehumanization, shame, or humiliation.
I don’t want marriage or children for various reasons. First, marriage never appealed to me…it just seemed like something that “other people” did that rarely worked. Even from kindergarten age, I always knew I’d enjoy working and doing outdoor stuff, not being home all the time or running around doing chores. Knowing what I know now about cohabitation laws and divorce courts, I refuse to do either one because they create inequality where none need exist. My lover and I are equals…why would I destroy that? Secondly, I also knew from the same age that I was different. I played with the boys instead of the girls, I liked trucks and blocks and tackle football, not baby dolls and house and hopscotch. As I got older and learned more about sex, the concept of pregnancy freaked me out. It wasn’t that I was afraid of it by itself…I’d seen some of my pets give birth, and have numerous siblings that I cared for. It’s just not something that I should do. Men don’t get pregnant or give birth, and though many want to have kids and be good parents, I’ve never met a man who has said he’s upset that *he* can’t get pregnant. As I identify as a male in my mind, it makes sense that the idea of being pregnant is creepy to me.
WTF?
Are guys supposed to go around measuring themselves against other guys so that we can tell such women what size we are? Really? How gay is THAT!
I’m hardly an expert on vaginal size, but I’ve experienced enough variety to know that no two vaginas are equal. And what it takes to satisfy even two which are close can vary wildly.
But worst about this video is the demand that a man vow to satisfy her with no promise on her part to do the same for him. It’s as if the very access to her innards is supposed to be sufficient to take care of his urges.
Most marriages end up here. One partner wants more than they give, and it all falls down. In this woman’s instance, I doubt I’d stay with her long. I’m sure that other equally intense demanding aspects of her personality would emerge, and make her partner value far less than the cost of maintaining it.
Woman wearing make up demands to know about my genitalia in advance. Honey, you go scrape the gunk off your face first and I might consider it.
The main thing that bothers me about this woman’s shtick (heh, pun intended) is the fact that she’s a divorced single mom. Her children probably get hell from their peers at school. I mean, I got in a fight because some girls made fun of my mother’s accent. I can’t imagine being the child of this woman who puts her face and carrots/cucumbers on the world wide web.
Divorced single mothers are not to be trusted. To be honest she has proven herself a psychopath just by being a single mother.
I don’t think that’s fair to all single mothers (like my mom), but I understand where you’re coming from with your comment based on previous conversations. Honestly, I wish my mother had *stayed* single after having me and getting away from my father…my childhood would’ve been infinitely better.
Can I email you? I want to bring something up that I don’t want to here.
Greg,
This is an excellent topic for discussion, actually. I’ve noticed that the manosphere is divided into two very distinctive camps when it comes to the idea of women using makeup. Half say that it shows laziness/an unwillingness to look good for men when a woman doesn’t have makeup on. The other half say that makeup is a type of false advertising/visual manipulation that shouldn’t be allowed.
As someone who is told she’s about an 8 without cosmetics on, I’m sure that if I decided to learn how to put on makeup I could easily be a 9 or 10 especially if I also wore feminine clothing and actually did something besides a bun with my hair. But that wouldn’t be *me*.
Greg Allen is obviously of the latter opinion. What about my other commenters?
Blurkel,
You haven’t said anything I can disagree with. Nice to have you back.
Of course, tamerlame.
My “door” is always open.
Tarnished, did either of your father’s ever admit or accept responsibilty for what
they did to you? Did you ever tell your mother what happened, and what was her
response? Is she still in denial?
Remember when I said you were a blend of dispassionate mind AND emotion?
I think the “emotion aspect” is displayed in your concern for animals, children, and
love lorn outcasts. Also, you express your “compassion” through this blog and others.
But the content of this blog is different from, say, The Black Pill’s blog, or “Return Of
Kings.” You know that you can’t speak of your sexual exploits on those blogs. They
think you are boasting, and that it’s just a case of a female getting “easy sex.”
Your back round of abuse means NOTHING to most irate males. They like you
because they think “You’re one of the boys.” No insult intended, but they can’t feel
your childhood trama.
Oh, and you never did answer my question. If you DON’T live with your F.W.B,
how do you get over your “down” periods. Wouldn’t you want a strong pair of arms
to nestle in?
Missattempts,
Not directly, no. My father stopped fighting for custody rights when I wrote him and my law guardian a letter saying I didn’t want to see him anymore because I feared for my physical safety, but that’s it.
My stepfather never admitted to anything per se, other than to try and convince my mother that I was the instigator. His main “evidence” of this? The fact I hit puberty at age 10. Because obviously if I have hips and breasts, I must want sex, right?
^^intense sarcasm
I did tell her when I was 17, and she did believe me (though later she interrogated me to see if I was lying like one of her friends suggested). They’ve divorced since then, but I moved out as soon as I was done with high school. It was difficult, having a new place, a 39 hour a week job (hooray for corporations that refuse to make you full-time), and 18 credits a semester in college (that I needed the job to pay for)…but honestly?
I never felt better than I had since I was 9. It was like my favorite holidays plus my birthday rolled into every day of that first tiring but absolutely glorious month of freedom and safety. I literally couldn’t stop smiling, just because.
Eh, RoK wouldn’t want me to anyway since my exploits are all with one man who is my equal/sometimes slightly “submissive”. My life doesn’t hold with their ideas about shit tests and traditional gender roles and women being rampant sluts who have no loyalty or love that isn’t bought by resources or “alpha” behavior. Which is fine, because I wouldn’t want to comment over there regardless. It’d serve no purpose whatsoever, other than to give me a headache.
I like being one of the boys. It’s just that the boys I am friends with are all nerds, geeks, and gamers. Very different than the types RoK speak about.
No, my FwB and I don’t cohabitate, and probably never will. We live a little over 2 hours apart now, so one of us would have to change jobs or have a long commute every day. It’s nonsensical.
I don’t usually think about having a “strong pair of arms”. I still have issues with cuddling and can’t do it for long without feeling panicked, which he thankfully understands. Honestly, coming home to a “empty” house most of the time is like being in a sanctuary. My pets are always happy to see me, everything is precisely where I left it, my books are all alphabetized, nobody ransacked my fridge or cupboards, and none of my games are scratched or missing. My home is my downtime unless he’s over. Then it’s my playground, lol.
@ Tarn
You asked for it, and you’ll get it!
I draw the line where makeup IS the image and doesn’t merely enhance it. The current trend toward heavy makeup and saturated colors hides a woman’s looks and leads to problems.
I once played a bar where the owner was talking with a friend about his woman. The friend was complimenting her looks, and the owner said “You don’t see her in the morning when she gets up. She’s (hideous, but I don’t remember his exact phrasing). It’s the only reason I don’t marry her.”
I doubt that things have changed much in the 40 years since I encountered that attitude.
Nice to be back, Tarn. Funerals always bring out the worst in one’s relatives. They weren’t happy to discover that there is no estate to divide. All mom had left was about a suitcase worth of clothes, and we gave those away to an old folks home.
“I never felt better than I had since I was 9. It was like my favorite holidays plus my birthday rolled into every day of that first tiring but absolutely glorious month of freedom and safety. I literally couldn’t stop smiling, just because.”
Tarn, I had the same experience moving out of my home at 18. I’ve never looked back. My father was a good man, and I was never abused….but my mother was psychotically controlling.
I still, seriously, give thanks every day that i am free…and it’s been over two decades since I left that house.
This is serious the most bizarre blog on the web.
Really? Why?
There’s a lot of people voicing fucked up shit here. A blog isnt a shrink.
Meh. If people want to talk anonymously and get stuff off their chest, what’s the problem?
I much prefer women to not wear any make up. I’ll concede that if a lady has an important professional appointment and wears a minimal amount, pleasantly placed on her face, then that can enhance “prettiness”. But as far as just normal time together, all women to me look better natural then the falseness of makeup.
Perhaps this no makeup preference of mine is rooted in my mistrust of humans; my perception that most everybody at most every time is being manipulative??
one hope’s this is comedy…
however if I made an “itty bitty titty” vid, even in jest, I’d be labelled every sort of misogynist.
If she really wants to “preview” guys-she can go pick up men at a nudist beach-her problem solved.
Tarnished, One final question about your past. Or maybe two:
I think you said you surpressed your memory when your biological father abused you.
You blacked the incidents out. Did you have a conscious recall of your stepfather’s
abuse? If you DID recall what the stepfather did, is that how you finally recovered the
memories of what your first dad did? You didn’t need anything like hypnosis did you?
Also, did you listen to the song I reccomended on Google: “If You Let Me Make Love
To You Then Why Can’t I Touch You,” by Ronnie Dyson? Can you empathise with that
song?
I heard it said, in some instances, that it’s easier for a woman to engage in sex, then
affectionate touch. Prosititues as rule DO NOT like men. They are performing a simple
function. They don’t have to “love” the people they are with. And the REAL violation
for a woman is to have to feign love. She hates that more.
I’m sorry if I got too “personal” Tarnished, but I view this as an EDUCATIONAL BLOG
about ALL THINGS sexual, and that would include the emotional/psychological aspects
of sex. The “mechinical aspects” mean NOTHING to me, because I never expect to
engage in sex. The only “opening up” that I am interested up is the EMOTIONAL
opening up. I would like to see you one day transgress beyond the world of MGTOW
because it’s only a NARROW area of your wonderful INTELLECT. There’s not much
you can do to help people with their “private” lives because life is unfair and always will
be. Other folks are no doubt telling you not to respond to me, because their goal is to
keep you trapped at this “simple” level. I only want you to grow EVEN MORE because
if you read the information about your birthday, in the book “The Secret Language Of
Birthdays, you could see how you have the capsity to move MILLIONS.
No one is telling me not to respond to you (or anyone else who’s waiting for a reply). I just had a 12 hour shift yesterday since a coworker called out and have not been able to write yet. No worries…even if someone told me not to reply to you, I wouldn’t listen. It’s not like anyone besides myself can honestly determine how I should live my life.